Co-Sleeping

First of all, this is not an opinion piece; this is an appeal for conversation. And I don't want other's opinions on which style of sleeping they believe is best, because I already know all the arguments for and against, and your opinion won't change mine.

Ok, with that . . .

I view myself as a natural/hippie parent with a go-with-the flow attitude. I generally subscribe to the ideas of Attachment Parenting, but if any of those ideas don't fit my lifestyle, I have no problem abandoning them.

Breast feeding: awesome! Totally works for us. Free baby food and mandatory cuddling throughout the day! Love it! And I stay home, so it's easy.

Baby wearing: think it's a great idea, but it's not often necessary for us, so we haven't perfected it. We tried out an Ergo recently, though, and we may be converts.

Cloth diapering: it's worth the extra work to save the environment and money, although since I've been so sleep deprived the last month+, he's been sleeping in a disposable. The LAST thing I want to deal with after a night of constantly interrupted sleep is soaked blankets and sheets.

Food: Everett's probably never going to have rice cereal or baby food from a jar. We'll just moosh up fruits and veggies when he's interested and let him feed himself.

But co-sleeping is a conundrum for me. When I reason it out logically, I come to the conclusion that it's a bad option for our family.

Especially when he was smaller, I felt very uncomfortable having him in bed with us. I didn't trust either of us not to roll onto him, and I still have a little fear of this.

He has slept very long stretches in his crib, I know he has no aversion to it, and the idea of keeping him comfortable sleeping in his own bed sounds just great to me. We'll never have to transition him when he's older, and "mommy" and "daddy" can have their own private space--because that's very important to us.

I'd almost rather wake once or twice a night, fed him a full meal (I watch a TV show on Instant Watch), we go back to our respective beds, and I know exactly how much sleep I'm getting in a given night--instead of waking throughout the night for him to have little snacks, and I'm sleeping in this limbo-land.

And at the heart of this issue, I'm physically very uncomfortable nursing Everett in bed. I love cuddling with my babe, but I have in no way mastered the very key skill of feeding him lying down/while basically asleep.

So if I have all these reasons not to co-sleep, then why even try?!? Well, Everett's been waking up three to four times a night for the last month+ to nurse, and I'm TIRED!! I've tried wearing him out, bathing him, putting him to bed early, putting him to bed late, giving him Tylenol, etc., etc., but nothing seems to work consistently. I tell myself that he's teething. He's very uncomfortable, and when he wakes in the middle of the night, he needs to be comforted and fed. This especially uncomfortable teething will soon be over for him, and we'll all start sleeping better. But when you're in the middle of it, it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

So I may try co-sleeping more seriously. Maybe I've been doing it wrong.

I consulted Dr. Sears, and his instructions involve 5 pillows! Really?!? First of all, I'm not sure we own 5 pillows. And secondly, I sometimes have issue with the sheets/blankets in the middle of the night, how am I supposed to coordinate 5 pillows? I didn't even have strategically placed sleeping-pillows when I was pregnant; I just slept.

So is there a way to get comfortable without 5 pillows?

We start this process with the age-old question of what to do with your arm. We've all had this question while sleeping with a sweetie: "I like spooning, but where should I put my arm? Do I place it under his neck so he's super uncomfortable, or do I lay on top of it until it falls asleep?" It's even worse with the baby (unless I'm, of course, doing it wrong). I position him low, then kind of shoot my arm out to the side (which is awkward when Brian gets a finger in his eye), or kind of hook my arm around like I'm doing "the robot."

Next is the question of switching sides. Generally, when he nurses, he eats on both sides. So is it necessary to switch positions while co-sleeping? Do I roll him over me, risking the loss of his meal all over me? Or do I roll over him, causing a huge commotion in bed?

Have I mentioned that a week or so ago, I somehow managed to pull a muscle in my shoulder while trying to nurse him in bed?!?

Then I start wondering if I'm physically not cut out for co-sleeping/nursing. Before my milk came in, I was basically flat-chested, and I'm not all that much bigger now. I can't move my breasts around. My nipples are basically stationary. Everett and I need to coordinate to get him to the breast . . . it doesn't come to him. {:

Sleep deprivation is hard for me. I'm one of those "lucky" people who does much better on 8 or 9 hours of sleep a night, and I feel like I'd be a much better mom with more sleep.

So prompting this blog . . . we tried co-sleeping/nursing again last night, and it was a disaster--in my opinion. for starters, I was uncomfortable. No surprise there. Then, whenever he "woke" and wanted to nurse, he would cry. Not a whimper, a cry. And it woke Brian up every time. Usually when he cries at night, I get up and take care of him, and Brian stays asleep. This is how I like it, because Brian gets up early to work, and I stay-at-home. It wouldn't have been so bad, but it seemed to us that Everett cried every hour?!? Then I would shuffle around and try to get him on the breast. Even tried to give him the pacifier a few times, but he wasn't really awake, so he just shook his head and refused it.

I'm wondering if he's conditioned to cry at night because he's usually in his own crib and needs to cry to get my attention.

So . . . thoughts? Am I doing it wrong? How do you make it work? If you co-slept, would you do it again?

Thanks.

Signed,

Tired in Atascadero